Down the Rabbit Hole..

What I know now, I wish I knew then

2009-04-20T17:13:00.010-04:00

My dearest Bunnie..

There are so many things I’d like to share with you, and I used to think it’d be amazing if I could go back in time and prevent you from doing certain things down the road, but today I can say that I’m glad I never did so (time machines aren’t cheap). But you are the past, and I am the present, and I’m sure that Future-Bunnie has many things she’d maybe like to tell me, but I doubt she can afford the trip in time. And hopefully she’s smarter than that.

Of all the things I could say, all I can say is that...

Life is life. It’s brutal and sometimes, it hurts.

But there is nothing better than it and I wouldn’t change a thing.

I am grateful with every particle of my being for all my life; for the good, the bad and the awful.

Without these things you would never have become the Bunnie you are today, and even though you’re far from being a perfectly balanced person living in blissful harmony, despite the lack of unicorns and rainbows in this life, every second of it is a gift.

Life is so many possibilities. And even though you only live once, living your life to the fullest is the best you can do. For someone, living their life to the fullest can mean taking risks; the physical kind. Bungee jumping, skydiving, you name it, they’ve done it. It’s tangible, it’s real. But I don’t think that it’s the only way to live. Life is made of tangible things, but it is intangible itself.

You smell, breathe, touch life. But you also feel it. Life is also emotions. Life can be dreams; nightdreams or daydreams. Plans and ideas, expanding to the limits of your imagination. Feeling your limits, not being able to grasp concepts like eternity or understanding the meaning behind all things.

Life is a mystery.

Life works in mysterious ways actually, sometimes you end up getting it, most of the time you won’t.

Life has a sense of humour, for sure. Life must have a sense of humour with all the semi-awkward situations it leaves for us to enjoy. (I can’t guarantee you’ll enjoy them right away, but after some time passes, you’ll have tons of hilarious stories to tell.) Life is laughter. The more you laugh, the more you live.

Life can be scary for a little bunny like you though. But in the end, life works out.

You just have to breathe, let go and live.

Just go with the flow, be a little fish in the stream and follow your own rhythm. Never let anyone tell you what’s right or wrong; you’ve got a conscience, just listen to it. Going with the flow is not about following crowds and the main stream, it’s about following your stream.

Of course, it’s not that simple, there will be times where you’ll feel lost in dark, murky waters. Sometimes it’ll be night time, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. It’s in the night time that you can see the stars. See, life is what you make of it. It’s yours, and with your little fish fins you can always swim away, take some time off and swim towards clear waters.

But no matter what happens remember, you’re never really alone. There are plenty of fish in the sea, some are big other small, but deep inside they’re just like you. Some will try to bring you down, others will try to take you with them on crazy adventures, and it’s alright to make mistakes. The sea is so vast and you so little, how could you know better?

The important thing though, is to learn from your mistakes. Mistakes; they’re rather funny. They’ll keep on coming back to you until you GET IT and learn the lesson. And if you don’t, don’t worry they’ll come back under various forms. Beware of the algae. When it’s too good to be true, it often means it is.

However, don’t ever lock your heart. You can lock your house, I even would recommend you do so (encounters with robbers are not fun), but never ever lock your heart. You never know what the strangers you encounter can end up meaning to you.

You’ll meet a Bunny, and he’ll be the loveliest thing ever, better than any song or any food. Sometimes he’ll do silly things, but he’ll be a good Bunny. Just wait and see.

Many good things shall happen, but bad things happen too. Thing is, you must never be scared.

Believe, ask and be grateful. Be kind to others, even if they’re not always kind to you.

And cut ties with other fishes if you must. They’re not always the best fishies you can have around you, and it’s only for the best.

Be happy of what you have, but don’t stop doing things. Always keep going, you can’t stop just like that in water.

You’ll meet many fishies in that sea, and some will teach you important lessons. One day you shall meet a stranger who will know better than most you’ve ever met, and who’ll tell you;

“If you want to get to somewhere, just keep moving your feet.”

It’ll make you laugh and you’ll think he’s nuts at first, but sweet Bunnie, if only you knew how right he is...

No matter what happens, regardless of who you love or who you lose, just keep walkin’

And like Dolly Parton once said, “If you don’t like the road you’re walkin’ start paving another one.”

Dear Bunnie, this life is yours. Embrace it, accept it, just like you should accept yourself and others and you’ll be happy. Don’t ever be bitter and laugh a lot.

It feels good.

Love,

Bunnie from the present

Freckles & Unfinished Business

2009-03-20T22:59:00.032-04:00

Summer is in the air.

Literally.

I'm not insane, I just daydream a lot. About floating alphabet letters. S-U-M-M-E-R.This summer, unlike previous ones, will be absolutely tragic. Or not.
Perhaps I am just a bit too theatrical when it comes to facing the things of life.Such as oral presentations. Or say...turning twenty years OLD in August.

Just like past summers, this one will be ice cream-flavoured (despite my intolerance to lactose), filled with broken promises to get a tan (and getting freckles and skin cancer instead)
and an awful lot of unfinished business.

This
would not
be a good time to die.

Unlike past summers, this summer will not be spent in Paris or Krakow
or NYC or Cape Hatteras.
Or Kaszuby
(best place in the universe up until I brutally and oddly grew up and apart from it some time ago).

I won't travel to California to find out about my (deceased) actress mother for a school project, like Vada, nor ride a bicycle with my pseudo-lover in a very non-heterosexual way to the sounds of Goldfrapp. I will not return to my hometown after years, chain-smoking like a chimney, dressing solely in black and being bitter (you know typical things writers do), to
reunite with my childhood friends and remember the good times.
And have an epiphany about my adult life. Or two.

No, this summer, I will become old. Officially.
Funnily enough, I feel much older than 20. I feel like I am about 120 with the exuberant amount of things that I have learned in the past 5 years. I am continuously evolving, and at a frighteningly rapid pace.

This
would not be a
good time to get a tattoo.

All jokes aside, I am counting on this year to bring changes.
Just the good kind, obviously.
Some things this summer could possibly bring:
-mystery
-peace
-a potential tan
-la débauche in Amsterdam
-tons of Bunny-time ♥
-meaning.

This year shall be different, I promise. No more promises I cannot keep. I shall update this blog.
Or not.

The world is a vampire

2008-12-02T19:11:00.015-05:00

And so everyone still seems to be awfully overwhelmed by this whole Twilight thing; I must say that frankly, Edward Cullen is sooo two weeks ago.

Technically, I have all the rights in the world to be an insane teeny-bopper drooling at the thought of Bobby Pattinson, as I am still officially a TEENAGER. I still live with my parents, wear UGG's that I have not paid for (must thank the parentals for that, but I admit that Ugg's are called that for a reason-hint: it has to do with aesthetics) and am overall your average not-a-girl, far-from-a-woman, nineteen year old. I have read the book, mind you, which gives me an additional permission to join the legions of shrieking fans.

But I have moved
on to greater things, such as wondering why they removed those sticky triangle stickers from the subway...

The ones that show you where the metro door is supposed to be. (The city's hopeful investment in the crazy idea that it'll reduce subway traffic, and perhaps serve as a guideline to the underground etiquette. Umm yeah..)

Of course I being the amazing citizen that I am, have immediately assumed that these yellow arrows were there to indicate exactly where I should steer away from, to let the passengers out before proceeding to board. Obviously.
Most people took them as a personal invitation to monopolize the subway.

Sometimes I feel like I'm just
not on the same wavelength
as any other human
being in this city.
That is,
aside
of
Bunny...♥

Bunny has a theory as to why those stickies were removed about a day and three quarters after their majestic entrance to the not-so-glorious underground world.
[Just a fancy way to say subway.]

He says it's because they weren't all that sticky after all (and I must agree with him, we noticed a few peeling off after only a day) and that someone must've tripped and fallen onto the subway tracks and gotten shred to pieces by the subway and their family must've complained and threatened to sue the STM.

I'd feel awful to say good riddance, but part of me cannot help to wonder what kind of idiot would manage to die because of a dysfunctional sticker in the subway?
I mean, I most definitely agree with the removal of those unecessary stickers, that should have never been made to begin with, but this makes me wonder what kind of person that hypothetical and most probably fictional guy was
to selfishly rush himself to the metro doors as if he owned them?
(And I know for a fact that it was a man. How? I just know.)

Well let me tell you. Imagine this; an overweight grumpy 45 to 50 year old white collar employee that works in a tall building and eats Kojax too often for lunch. (Who would want to eat something that sounds like a cross between two toilet cleansers anyways?) That man reads the Metro every morning and throws it away in the garbage can, not the recyling one.

His motivation? He's the Grinch. He's evil and mean, and won't give his seat to an old lady and/or pregnant woman under any circumstance.

And now, assuming that Bunny's theory was real you'd expect me to feel sorry for that guy?
Fat chance...(pun intended)

Alright, I am grumpy. Lack of sleep+stress+finals+my first semester of university being almost over+lack of money+lousy job= me at this point.

I promise that I will write prettier things though. Not that anyone will read this, aside of Bunny. If I force him. I suspect Bunny doesn't like to read altogether, unless it's something that has to do with physics, quantum physics and um astrophysics? I think I made the last one up, but I believe that saying that he loves physics would be an understatement.

But guess what? He loves me more.
Aww that silly Bunny...

On a happier note, this week I have fallen in love with:
blueberry-flavoured (yes, flavoured) green tea, a pirate's heart, American Apparel's Le Sac Dress and blogging.
And you should too.

much love,
and wonderful things,

V. (It does not stand for any of the possibly dirty things your dirty mind can imagine.)